We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
