dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
