Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
