I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
