I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
