we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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