you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
