i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
