yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
