Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just cut my nipple shaving
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
