i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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