Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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