Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dear god my vagina.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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