its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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