He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
