For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
