idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
