The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
