I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
