We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you didnt know i had herpes?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
