Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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