i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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