I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I understand Curling. That high.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
