I wanna bring you to show and tell
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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