Your mouth is God's brothel.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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