I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
