the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
