i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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