and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
