I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
