hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
