you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
