so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
