he shaved USA in his pubs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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