It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
