I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
