I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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