i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
not ubering you a puppy
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
