My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
