i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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