i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My sheets look like a crime scene.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
