i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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