I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
