It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
