Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm going to jail i love you
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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