Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
