I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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