Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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