i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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