a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
